With only 6 weeks til my scheduled departure to Japan with the US Educators Program group, I knew when to tell my boss would be tricky. If I waited until I returned from the trip, I would risk them being very angry about my "lying" about my situation. And god forbid something happened to me while on the trip! If I wait until after I'm the official 12 weeks along, it'll be so close to departure they might feel I left them in a terrible situation of having no choice to choose another representative to send (as I worried they would see me as too much of a liability). So, after we had the ultrasound and got the heartbeat last week, I knew I wanted to tell my immediate boss soon. I planned to do it this coming Monday, but yesterday (Friday) it was just me and him in the section of our office and I was just sitting there stewing over it all day! So, finally, around 3PM I asked him to let me know when he had a free moment to talk about something, and turns out he did at that moment. Oh no, here we go!!
I thought, quick and painless, like a bandaid!! So I said, "Well, I have something to tell you. Which is, I'm going to have a baby! I'm only 9 weeks along, which is still very early, but I wanted to tell you now so we could discuss any uncertainty you might have about me joining the program to Japan. My doctor says that it would be completely safe, and actually the second trimester is the best for safety, energy, etc. I also wanted to reassure you that it's my intention to continue working here throughout the maternity and after the 12 week maternity leave." Then I handed him the official written notification I had spent a lot of time preparing, which included what I just said, as well as my detailed plan as far as finding a temp worker, training her Dec 3-7 (I even listed the specific projects I would be missing and that I would work hard to train her on, in addition to my regular tasks), using my sick days and vacation days to leave starting Dec 10 followed by the 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave, calling them March 4 to set my official day back, and tentatively returning March 18. Something like that anyway.
Overwhelmed and shocked about sums up the look on his face as he's listening and reviewing my paper. I started getting very nervous. He timidly asked about my "condition", how I was feeling, if I thought I would be up for the trip to Japan, pointing out that his wife was always sick when she was pregnant. I assured him that I was fine now (not a big fat lie, but a white lie I suppose), and expect to be even more fine over the weeks leading up to and into the 2nd trimester. After some more reassuring, he seemed to agree that it should be fine for me to go on the trip, but he would have to consult my other boss, our Executive Director. Thinking the discussion was over, we both sat back down at our desks. A couple seconds later he stood up again laughing and smiling, saying congratulations, and starts talking about when his wife gave birth. Then we sit down again, then he stands up and starts talking about when his daughter had her two children, laughing some more. Then we sit down again. This continued for a good 20 minutes! hahaha! It was rather hilarious. He started out so serious and stressed out about my announcement, but it quickly turned into happy and reminiscent. All of a sudden he got serious again and said "Heather, you have to promise me, you will, you know, COME BACK!!" and started going on about how quick and good I am at my job. Well, that made me feel really good, but bad too, as I had to be honest that no I couldn't promise because you never know what happens, but that it's my intention to come back for 2 reasons: 1) I really like this job, and 2) financially I really have tom come back! ^_^
Honestly, I really have no idea what to do about it. 12 weeks just seems SOOOOOOO short, especially when I really want to do the whole full-year of breast feeding. And day care, oh my gosh, it seems most of them are 7:30am - 6pm. With my commute being 1hr-1.5hrs, that 6pm closing is a bit impossible. There are later ones, but still, how can you feel good dropping your baby at day care all day. Especially your 12 week old baby!! Though, if he/she's a tough baby and always crying, it might not be so hard after all! So, it's really gonna be a last minute decision I guess. But, if I decide to take longer than 12 weeks, I'll get cut off of my insurance (or have to pay the monthly payments myself), so that's something to think about. It might be best to switch to Ryoji's plan the next time it's open for changes. Though I don't pay any monthly fee for my plan, and his is $100/month or something like that...hmmmm decisions decisions!!
I thought, quick and painless, like a bandaid!! So I said, "Well, I have something to tell you. Which is, I'm going to have a baby! I'm only 9 weeks along, which is still very early, but I wanted to tell you now so we could discuss any uncertainty you might have about me joining the program to Japan. My doctor says that it would be completely safe, and actually the second trimester is the best for safety, energy, etc. I also wanted to reassure you that it's my intention to continue working here throughout the maternity and after the 12 week maternity leave." Then I handed him the official written notification I had spent a lot of time preparing, which included what I just said, as well as my detailed plan as far as finding a temp worker, training her Dec 3-7 (I even listed the specific projects I would be missing and that I would work hard to train her on, in addition to my regular tasks), using my sick days and vacation days to leave starting Dec 10 followed by the 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave, calling them March 4 to set my official day back, and tentatively returning March 18. Something like that anyway.
Overwhelmed and shocked about sums up the look on his face as he's listening and reviewing my paper. I started getting very nervous. He timidly asked about my "condition", how I was feeling, if I thought I would be up for the trip to Japan, pointing out that his wife was always sick when she was pregnant. I assured him that I was fine now (not a big fat lie, but a white lie I suppose), and expect to be even more fine over the weeks leading up to and into the 2nd trimester. After some more reassuring, he seemed to agree that it should be fine for me to go on the trip, but he would have to consult my other boss, our Executive Director. Thinking the discussion was over, we both sat back down at our desks. A couple seconds later he stood up again laughing and smiling, saying congratulations, and starts talking about when his wife gave birth. Then we sit down again, then he stands up and starts talking about when his daughter had her two children, laughing some more. Then we sit down again. This continued for a good 20 minutes! hahaha! It was rather hilarious. He started out so serious and stressed out about my announcement, but it quickly turned into happy and reminiscent. All of a sudden he got serious again and said "Heather, you have to promise me, you will, you know, COME BACK!!" and started going on about how quick and good I am at my job. Well, that made me feel really good, but bad too, as I had to be honest that no I couldn't promise because you never know what happens, but that it's my intention to come back for 2 reasons: 1) I really like this job, and 2) financially I really have tom come back! ^_^
Honestly, I really have no idea what to do about it. 12 weeks just seems SOOOOOOO short, especially when I really want to do the whole full-year of breast feeding. And day care, oh my gosh, it seems most of them are 7:30am - 6pm. With my commute being 1hr-1.5hrs, that 6pm closing is a bit impossible. There are later ones, but still, how can you feel good dropping your baby at day care all day. Especially your 12 week old baby!! Though, if he/she's a tough baby and always crying, it might not be so hard after all! So, it's really gonna be a last minute decision I guess. But, if I decide to take longer than 12 weeks, I'll get cut off of my insurance (or have to pay the monthly payments myself), so that's something to think about. It might be best to switch to Ryoji's plan the next time it's open for changes. Though I don't pay any monthly fee for my plan, and his is $100/month or something like that...hmmmm decisions decisions!!
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