Well, I've passed the 10 week mark - I can't believe we're 25% of the way there!! My pooch has just started to grow in the last week or so. I don't think it's a baby bump per se, more just bloating probably. But the bloating is definitely only in the tummy, no where else. Wedding ring is still loosey goosey, though that usually gets snugger in the summer, so it'll be interesting to see how that goes in the coming months. A few weeks ago I would wake with a normal flat tummy and by the time I got home from work I seriously could've passed for 6 months pregnant. But now, I pretty much wake up with my tummy feeling that way. Thank goodness all my clothes still fit, but I bought one of those belly bands to have on hand when the time comes!

Other symptoms... still totally nauseous, but generally manageable with careful steady eating. But nothing is appetizing, except for ice cream. Today I walked from deli to deli trying to find something to eat for lunch. I finally broke down and got the only thing that didn't churn my stomach to think about - a peanut butter chocolate banana smoothie from Jamba Juice! hahaha! I know I know, not exactly healthy, but I did walk around the city for 30 minutes while I drank it! I am still getting exhausted throughout the day, but mostly in the early afternoon. SOOOOO tired. Like can barely stay awake at work, despite sleeping a solid 9 hours every night! Am having more nightly pee breaks (2-3 usually), but I think it's just because I'm careful to drink water right up til I go to bed. Whereas before I would cut myself off 2 hours before bedtime so I wouldn't have to get up in the middle of the night! I also get more winded than usual going up stairs, but this could be the pregnancy in combination with the fact that I haven't worked out in a good 6 weeks or so. I really need to start hitting the gym again!! Unfortunately I can't get my head around gym for fitness rather than weight loss. Hmmm.

No real news here, except we got our first baby gift!! My mom and dad gave us an ADORABLE little outfit, so cute! We have it hanging in one of our doorways and are both enjoying seeing it and holding the tiny little footies!

Although he's barely the size of a kumquat or prune -- a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom -- and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby now has completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature. If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

Before you got pregnant, your uterus was the size of a small pear. By this week, it's as big as a grapefruit.

At nine weeks pregnant, you and baby have made two big accomplishments: You’ve made it to month three, and she’s no longer an embryo -- now she’s a fetus. Basically that means she’s becoming more and more baby-like, and you’re inching closer and closer to leaving the nasties of the first trimester behind you. Just one more month to go!

Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

Your baby's the size of a green olive or a grape! She's gaining steam! At 9 weeks, your fetus measures around .9 inches and weighs about .07 ounces.

With only 6 weeks til my scheduled departure to Japan with the US Educators Program group, I knew when to tell my boss would be tricky. If I waited until I returned from the trip, I would risk them being very angry about my "lying" about my situation. And god forbid something happened to me while on the trip! If I wait until after I'm the official 12 weeks along, it'll be so close to departure they might feel I left them in a terrible situation of having no choice to choose another representative to send (as I worried they would see me as too much of a liability). So, after we had the ultrasound and got the heartbeat last week, I knew I wanted to tell my immediate boss soon. I planned to do it this coming Monday, but yesterday (Friday) it was just me and him in the section of our office and I was just sitting there stewing over it all day! So, finally, around 3PM I asked him to let me know when he had a free moment to talk about something, and turns out he did at that moment. Oh no, here we go!!

I thought, quick and painless, like a bandaid!! So I said, "Well, I have something to tell you. Which is, I'm going to have a baby! I'm only 9 weeks along, which is still very early, but I wanted to tell you now so we could discuss any uncertainty you might have about me joining the program to Japan. My doctor says that it would be completely safe, and actually the second trimester is the best for safety, energy, etc. I also wanted to reassure you that it's my intention to continue working here throughout the maternity and after the 12 week maternity leave." Then I handed him the official written notification I had spent a lot of time preparing, which included what I just said, as well as my detailed plan as far as finding a temp worker, training her Dec 3-7 (I even listed the specific projects I would be missing and that I would work hard to train her on, in addition to my regular tasks), using my sick days and vacation days to leave starting Dec 10 followed by the 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave, calling them March 4 to set my official day back, and tentatively returning March 18. Something like that anyway.

Overwhelmed and shocked about sums up the look on his face as he's listening and reviewing my paper. I started getting very nervous. He timidly asked about my "condition", how I was feeling, if I thought I would be up for the trip to Japan, pointing out that his wife was always sick when she was pregnant. I assured him that I was fine now (not a big fat lie, but a white lie I suppose), and expect to be even more fine over the weeks leading up to and into the 2nd trimester. After some more reassuring, he seemed to agree that it should be fine for me to go on the trip, but he would have to consult my other boss, our Executive Director. Thinking the discussion was over, we both sat back down at our desks. A couple seconds later he stood up again laughing and smiling, saying congratulations, and starts talking about when his wife gave birth. Then we sit down again, then he stands up and starts talking about when his daughter had her two children, laughing some more. Then we sit down again. This continued for a good 20 minutes! hahaha! It was rather hilarious. He started out so serious and stressed out about my announcement, but it quickly turned into happy and reminiscent. All of a sudden he got serious again and said "Heather, you have to promise me, you will, you know, COME BACK!!" and started going on about how quick and good I am at my job. Well, that made me feel really good, but bad too, as I had to be honest that no I couldn't promise because you never know what happens, but that it's my intention to come back for 2 reasons: 1) I really like this job, and 2) financially I really have tom come back! ^_^

Honestly, I really have no idea what to do about it. 12 weeks just seems SOOOOOOO short, especially when I really want to do the whole full-year of breast feeding. And day care, oh my gosh, it seems most of them are 7:30am - 6pm. With my commute being 1hr-1.5hrs, that 6pm closing is a bit impossible. There are later ones, but still, how can you feel good dropping your baby at day care all day. Especially your 12 week old baby!! Though, if he/she's a tough baby and always crying, it might not be so hard after all! So, it's really gonna be a last minute decision I guess. But, if I decide to take longer than 12 weeks, I'll get cut off of my insurance (or have to pay the monthly payments myself), so that's something to think about. It might be best to switch to Ryoji's plan the next time it's open for changes. Though I don't pay any monthly fee for my plan, and his is $100/month or something like that...hmmmm decisions decisions!!

So, you may remember what a shocker it was to hear last Friday that Dr. Moritz doesn't deliver at the Birthing Center anymore. I really liked him, but I like even more to have the option of using the birthing center... who knows if I'll actually be able to in the end due to unforeseen complications or me not dealing well with the pain, but still, I want the option! There's a group of midwives who work in Moritz's office a couple days a week and if any of their patients go high risk or need higher level of care, they automatically get switched over to him, so it seems like a win-win. I called them on Monday and the receptionist said they're no longer accepting patients due in December! OMG! They aren't kidding when they say popular practices fill up quickly (I should keep this in mind and start shopping around for day cares already!!). But, actually, I had filled in a request for an interview (yes, they have to interview you before you're accepted, to make sure you "qualify" i.e. not high risk in any way) back when I had just found out, around 5 weeks. They had called twice, during working hours, and I had never been able to talk to them. I told the receptionist this and she said one of them would call this week. Finally got the call today, and had to run down and out of my building in order to get reception, but YAY they accepted me!!! I talked to Susannah Donahue-Negbaur on the phone and she seemed super nice. Unfortunately I didn't have time to ask all my questions, but I did ask my biggest one which was whether or not they offer more support on birthing day than the doctor (i.e. being with me longer throughout labor). She said yes, they'll talk to me by phone while I'm laboring at home, as long as possible, and then meet me at the hospital. Coralie Macqueen and Sandy Woods are the other 2 midwives, so probably I'll rotate through them at my visits and get whoever is on-call on the big day. I guess I'll have to hold my other questions for my first appointment with them, which will be in another 3 weeks.

I also went ahead and scheduled the Nuchal Translucency (NT) Scan for June 18 (12.5 weeks). This is newly recommended to all women, but it's optional. It's basically a sonogram with a certified tech who checks the baby's neck to see if it's high risk for Down Syndrome, other chromosomal abnormalities, and heart defects. Combined with a blood test, they have a 92% chance of correctly detecting Down Syndrome, thought there is a 5% false-positive rate, meaning all signs point toward Downs but actually your baby is perfectly healthy. The really stressful thing is that if the scan and blood test look bad, they recommend either immediately do a chorionic villus sampling (CVS), or wait til 16-22 weeks to do an amniocentesis. CVS has a 98% accuracy in detecting chromosomal abnormalities, and a 1% chance of miscarriage. The Amnio is very accurate in detecting any genetic problems because it takes fluid from the amniotic sac, which contains sloughed off skin cells from the baby, though, the risk of miscarriage is 1 in 300-500. So you can see it's a slippery slope once you decide to have the first test, which in itself seems so harmless and just an extra chance to see your baby on the monitor! But, if your risk levels come back high, there are some pretty scary decisions to be made. My worst nightmare would be to show high risk, go with one of the more invasive but conclusive tests, find out the baby is perfectly healthy, and then suffer a miscarriage probably as a result of aforementioned tests. Yuck yuck yuck. But Ryoji and I both feel pretty strongly about getting the NT scan, so let's just cross our fingers that everything comes back looking good from that!!

So today was the big day! Our first appointment at the new practice, with Dr. Jacques Moritz - famed natural birth supporter from "The Business of Being Born". As soon as he walked in the room, you could really tell that he's such a relaxed down to earth fun guy, and Ryoji and I both really liked him! He was chit chatting and joking, but would get serious when the timing called for it. The bummer was, though, that apparently he no longer delivers at St. Luke Roosevelt Hospital's Birthing Center! So, if we are 100% trying to go there, we have to switch to the practice's midwives, like, THIS WEEK, because apparently any doctor or midwife who is any good won't take on new patients past like 8 or 10 weeks. Yikes!

Back to the appointment... after our hellos and how ya doings, he got down to business with the ultrasound since there's no point to sitting down with all of our questions until we confirm there is actually a healthy pregnancy going on! Luckily, since I'm "thin" we could go the abdominal route rather than the transvaginal route with the scary wand device, yuuuuuuuuuuck!! So he lubed my tummy and stuck that gadget on there and BOOM - there is my uterus and sac and baby bean right in there!!! No heart beat though, made me a bit nervous. Then he started digitally zooming in and slowly but surely we could start hearing the heart until finally it was loud as could be - swoosh swoosh swoosh!! Ryoji and I looked at each other, eyes and mouths gaping open, we couldn't believe it!! It was a weird feeling - I didn't feel emotional or anything like that, but just like WOW, that is so COOL!! Then the doctor said, "You had a 20% chance of losing the baby when you were sitting out in the waiting room, and now you're down to just a 2% chance, and you didn't even do anything!" haha! I guess that's the drop in risk as soon as the heart rate is detected.

He printed out 2 lovely photos (see below) and then we got to talk about our questions (what's your epesiotomy rate - hasn't done one in years and doesn't know any docs who still do / can i go to Japan this summer - yes, no problem!) and his questions (any mental illness in the families / allergies / previous surgeries / blah blah blah) and all that fun stuff. He actually freaked out about my croup/trech story, was funny to hear a doctor react that way. He's almost over the top, not like doctors usually are, ya know? More like a regular guy.

So, we really liked him! But now we have to decide - stick with him and do the regular hospital birth (with or without the drugs), or switch to the midwives and attempt to go to the birth center (but apparently you can switch to the regular hospital at any point). Any input for us?? I think we need to schedule a tour of the facilities, maybe seeing it firsthand will give us a better feel of it.

Oh yeah, can't forget the blood work... I had to go to another lab facility for the bloodwork. Do you know how many viles of blood they took from me?? FOURTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not believe it. Holy cow. Luckily it was only one tiny jab of the needle, and then sitting there for what seemed like an eternity as each vile filled up and got replaced with the next. And you know how I can't stand more than 10 minutes on the subway without starting to pass out. Yeah, giving blood wasn't so fun either. But, they'll be able to test all sorts of things like if i'm carrying any genetic disorders, blood type (especially RH+- is important), thyroid, hormone levels, etc etc.

Today I was measured at 7 weeks 5 days (baby was 1.44 centimeters), which pretty much matches what I expected based on my ovulation predictor kits, which have me a couple days delayed from the prediction based on last period.

Baby's due date is... December 23

And now, what you've all been waiting for... (bottom photo shows the heart beat - doc said about 170bpm)

(From The Bump.Com) Ew, what stinks? Your hormones are doing some pretty freaky things at week eight, likely heightening your sense of smell and making your stomach do flip-flops. And don’t get us started on those wacky pregnancy dreams. What’s interesting is that while one of your senses is in overdrive, one of baby’s -- her sense of taste -- is getting its start, too. Can you believe at 8 weeks she’s starting to grow taste buds? If you’re feeling nauseated, extra hungry or extra tired right now, remember that it’s all because baby’s growth is in overdrive -- and because your body’s still adjusting to all those hormonal changes -- it will be worth it. (Especially in the second trimester, when most moms-to-be feel more energized.) If you’re experiencing severe nausea at eight weeks, it might be tough to keep down foods, let alone eat right, so try to find some options you can actually stomach.

Now she weighs in (yay!) at about .04 ounces and measures about .63 inches. This week, she's growing about a milimeter each day.

(From Baby Center.Com) New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

Decided to enlighten Ryoji by forcing him to watch a youtube video of a vaginal birth and a ceserian section. The videos are absolutely terrifying, but his reaction was hysterical!!! I was sorry to traumatize him so, but he has to know what's at the end of this journey for me! And, I found out his reaction to that funny FaceBook "Birth Reaction Assessment Tool" - he was definitely a level 10!!!

It's about a 50/50 chance I can get a seat at some point of my 1 hour commute into work each day. Unfortunately for me, yesterday was one of the no-such-luck days and my body was just not feeling it! About 20 minutes in, I started to notice the first signs of shut down...sweating, feeling weak. I checked my pulse and it was almost undetectable, but super fast. I realize at this point, from experience, if I don't get seated or in a squat position soon I will most definitely pass out. This has only happened to me a few times. Most recently was in January after I'd fasted for about 20 hours for my stupid annual check-up's cholesterol test which was scheduled not so cleverly in the afternoon. That time also found me on the train, standing, holding the overhead bar. Clearly not the best position when your blood pressure is struggling to circulate life sustaining blood allllllll the way up to that silly brain of yours! Before that, was only after I'd given blood, in Japan last year and also when I was 16 (that very first time being the only time I actually full-on fainted - all the following times I knew how to handle it and thankfully recovered in time).

So back to yesterday, finally my vision started to go (the last warning sign before I lose control) and as there were no seats I just decided to squat down as a last resort. I was halfway to the floor when a nice man got up and gave me his seat (same thing happened in January). Oh sweet relief! I grabbed that seat and had my head between my legs faster than humanly possible, and remained that way til my stop. Ughhhh the commuting I have to look forward to...

How your baby's growing:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

How your life's changing:

Your uterus has doubled in size in the past five weeks, and eating may feel like a chore — or worse — thanks to morning sickness, which by now may be in full swing. (If you're feeling fine, don't worry — you're lucky!)

You may need to pee more than usual, too, thanks to your increasing blood volume and the extra fluid being processed through your kidneys. (By now, you already have about 10 percent more blood than you did before you were pregnant. And by the end of your pregnancy, you'll have 40 to 45 percent more blood running through your veins to meet the demands of your full-term baby.) As your uterus grows, pressure on your bladder will send you to the bathroom as well.

About half of the women who feel nauseated during the first trimester will find complete relief by about 14 weeks. For most of the rest, it'll take another month or so for the queasiness to ease up. It's unlikely, though, that the need to pee more than usual will ease up. In fact, research shows that both the frequency and volume of urine tends to increase over the course of pregnancy.